Classic Gone-and-Forgotten: Fast Willie Jackson

Kick it to the curb, Willie Jackson style!

Can you dig it? They're COOL, BAD, FAST and TOGETHER! They're the BROTHERS
and SISTERS of MOCITY U.S.A! Yeah, that Fast Willie Jackson is One Bad ----

Just talking about Fast Willie Jackson, this funkadelic, happenin', Archie-ripoff
what came out of Fitzgerald Publications (who?) back in swinging 1976. Word.

Ah yes, and as an Archie rip-off, it had to have the ubiquitous cast of
characters. Assuming the role of the good-natured, slightly lazy, all-American
kid is Fast Willie himself. Taking up the Jughead mantle is JoJo, and Moose
has been replaced by a big, dumb man of color name'a Hannibal! Dee Dee Wilson
is their Veronica - there were not enough pages in one ish to introduce a
Betty, but enough to have TWO "villainous" foils: slick playa and tricked
out sugar daddy Frankie Johnson, and black militant Jabar (Always seen holding
a protest placard and working himself into a sweaty fervor). Adoringly, Pop
was replaced by a Puerto Rican named Jose Martinez. Just about all of the
figures of adult authority, so essential to the elements of an Archie book,
are represented by Officer Flagg, a buffoonish, brick jawed, thick necked
honky policeman (only whiteboy in the whole book, by the way) described in
the Dramatis Personae as "The Man.

I suppose I should get a brief kudos for Fast Willie and Fitzgerald Publishing
out of the way first - an apparent inhouse ad in the book offered a series
of historical magazines entitled Golden Legacy, offered under the heading
"Want To Learn More About Black History?" and prominently featuring a volume
dedicated to the Black Cowboys. The magazines advertised an illustrated
(read:comic book) history of African-Americans, including notable events
which have only gained truly national attention in the last few years (i.e.
Amistad, the aforementioned black cowboys, etc) and several others which,
sadly, are still overlooked in the American consciousness.

But enough of that, cause School Daze this ain't! Besides the essential crimes
of being uninteresting, unoriginal and unfunny, FWJ steeps into tastelessness
with both hands on several occasions. Among my favorite moments include:

• Willie's entire crowd overjoyed at the prospect of having five dollars.
  (Says Hannibal "Hey, Jo-Jo! Willie has a five dollar bill!" Replies Jo-Jo,
  "Cool, man! Er--What's a five dollar bill?")
  
• A not-so-subtle pimp-ho joke going on between Frankie and Dee Dee; It's
  Dee Dee's birthday and, to celebrate, she's giving all her presents to Frankie,
  and fawning all over him. To return the favor, Frankie takes her gifts and
  affection, then heads out the door telling Dee Dee that he's off to go do
  the same thing with another (of his) woman.
  
• The angry young black man (Jabar), while certainly not a shining example
  of young Black malehood (what with his rabid ranting) is a buffoon character
  really for no other reason than his afro-centricism.

I don't even know how to categorize this book; nice try or naive opportunism? Good intentions or shameless grubbing? All I know for sure is that the folks at Fitzgerald weren't really EVIL --- they were just JIVE....